Eliminate Your Dating Anxiety in Colombia

A woman wearing a brown jacket Fear of rejection is a form of dating anxiety. | Photo by Julian Florez on Unsplash

The prospect of going out with a beautiful Colombian woman can result in dating anxiety for any well-meaning gentleman. Why wouldn’t it? Colombian women are some of the most beautiful, dazzling women on earth. Fitting enough, as their beauty is rivaled only by the magnificent land they inhabit.

For single men visiting Colombia, a rendezvous with one of the ladies is the absolute highlight of the trip. The beautiful thing about the country is that there is just so much to do and with costs fairly low, you should have no problem accomplishing every point on your itinerary.

However, some men find that dating anxiety hinders their ability to either ask a woman out or be at their best when on an actual date. Plus, depending on the level of their anxiety, it can run from being a mild inconvenience to full on panic attacks.

Dating anxiety is basically a fear that you will be scrutinized, embarrassed, humiliated, or that you won’t be able to live up to one’s expectation in the face of a romantic prospect. To a certain extent, most, if not all men, experience this in their initial encounters with women.

Ever try talking to a girl you like and get the butterflies? The jitters? Ever have your ability to say monosyllabic words completely abandon you?

This isn’t something you want as a tourist walking down the bustling streets of Medellin or Cartagena. Out in these cities, you’re a different man and you know it. So let’s get down to business and eliminate that dating anxiety. Your time is now!

Lighten up!

Sometimes, your own worst enemy is yourself. Adapting to a lighter mindset or attitude is key to dropping anxiety when dating someone new. As men, the problem we face isn’t the woman in front of us, it’s that we take ourselves too seriously.

We often catch ourselves thinking too much about getting things done absolutely perfectly to a paralyzing degree. The reality is that perfection doesn’t exist. What exists is what you do, and the first thing you should do is go out and meet Colombian women.

Say you spotted this wonderful lady on a night out with friends. You want to ask her out. Your mind is going into overdrive, frantically trying to predict every single conceivable outcome for every action you might make. The more you think, the more your heart races. The more you sweat. And ultimately, before you know it, your time has run out and everyone is heading out the door. What have you accomplished any more than a brain workout and high blood pressure?

You see, if you thought that asking her out wasn’t really THAT big of a deal, you would have done it. It would have cost you all but 20 seconds and a bit of dignity, but you didn’t get the job done.

American broadcaster Hugh Downs in an interview said that when he was advised to “concentrate on what you’re doing instead of how you’re doing it,” his vocal problems went away. The same can be said about what you do in your romantic life. If you intend to ask her out, then ask her out. Don’t even think too much about what to say or how to say it. Be simple and authentic and take it from there.

Practice, practice, practice.

If there is anything to learn about anxiety, it would be best to hear it from the people who experience it the most. Entertainers, athletes, and people who do risky jobs face pressure almost on a daily basis. To eliminate being fearful of something, one must face that fear often.

Novice singers get a crippling dose of stage fright the first few times they perform for an audience. The situation for them is so intense it’s like they feel paralyzed from the neck down. Fast forward a few years, and while they do experience the occasional nerves, once they start opening their mouths and belting out the first tune, they are completely at home.

So what does that have to do with your own situation? You don’t date girls for a living, right? Well, you don’t need to deal with dating anxiety specifically, but social anxiety as a whole.

Spend time talking to people and being comfortable around strangers. Chat the local bartender up. Ask for directions from the locals. Party at a local club with friends every now and then. That you can do almost every day.

You see, dating anxiety is often an extension of social anxiety. When you aren’t comfortable around normal, ordinary people, imagine the discomfort you would experience around a drop-dead gorgeous Colombian lady.

If you want to get good with Latin women, you need to go meet Latin women and spend enough time around them. Interact with them, speak with them, and learn their ways, even if it just means you’re making friends.

Practice also involves having a pre-act routine. Just like shooting a free throw, you need to develop your own “pre-shot” routine before getting into pressure situations. These small routines make your actions consistent and reliable.

A good example of such a routine would be breathing. You could take five deep breaths to calm your nerves before you start saying something. You could also say your own personal mantra three times in your head. Whatever routine you choose to come up with to help you settle your nerves, make sure you do it consistently. It’s not silly. It’s effective.

You’re always a step closer, so enjoy!

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when dating a girl is believing that every single thing you do has to end in success. The reality is if you want to make a girl happy, you need to focus on her, not yourself.

Focus on the good things your date can bring, like having fun. When you’re having fun, you have no tension. No anxiety. You’re in a good place. And so is she.

When dating a Colombian woman, know that you’re in a good place. You’re on vacation in a beautiful country in Latin America. You probably don’t know the language that well anyway, so anything you do from then on, you can chalk it up to clumsy charm.

The reality is you probably can’t eliminate dating anxiety totally. You aren’t human if you do. But with you being in a foreign country with great ladies all around, what’s there to lose?

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